Submitted by Unity Care NW, written by Grant Guiley
From spending too much time with some loved ones to not enough time with others, this past year has been a challenge for even the strongest relationships as we persevere through the COVID-19 pandemic.
Close relationships are one of the most important aspects of life. Study after study proves that we are wired for relationship. We don’t really need studies to prove this fact, we only need to experience the goodness that is a close companion, but what happens when times get tough and we find ourselves at odds with the ones we love? When stress is universal, relationships can be put under intense strain. Because these people mean so much to us, their emotions and opinions will naturally weigh heavier than others. In these situations, it’s always helpful to keep a few things in mind, here are three tips to consider:
1. Take time for yourself. It may sound corny, but if we don’t take care for ourselves, we are not going to be any help to our loved ones. In order to love those close to us, we need to first love and nurture ourselves. By doing this we will have the needed fuel to engage meaningfully in relationships.
2. Take time together with a focus on relationship building, especially in stressful times, it’s important to do things that nurture togetherness. This includes finding things that you both enjoy, but it is also creating a space where fighting is not allowed. Arguing in relationships can be a very healthy activity when done well, but even “good” fighting should be limited. If you find yourself fighting all the time, set aside space where it isn’t allowed.
3. Forgiveness is essential. Forgiveness is the art of letting go, when you think someone “owes” you. When people hurt us, frustrate us, or when we feel like we are on opposite sides, it can be tempting to label that person as wrong, and that they need to change or make amends. While the person may be wrong, or need to change, these facts do nothing to build togetherness or move the relationship towards a helpful solution. Carrying a grudge also leaves you in a helpless position while you wait for change. Forgiveness allows us to say, “No matter what has happened between us, I am choosing to let this go, so we can move forward.” Forgiveness does not mean hurt did not happen, or that you are condoning any actions, it simply means you are letting go and moving forward.
Unity Care NW is a nonprofit health center providing medical, dental, behavioral/mental health, and pharmacy services to everyone. During the pandemic, services have been adapted to ensure access and safety. Telehealth appointments are being provided to make sure patients can still access counseling appointments from the comfort of their own home. The safe and effective vaccines offer a return to normalcy. Unity Care NW’s vision is that everyone has the opportunity to live their healthiest lives during this pandemic, and after.
Want more information from Grant on how to build and maintain healthy relationships during this difficult time and beyond? Learn how to reframe and understand relationships by joining Unity Care NW for a virtual event and meal kit pick-up on February 11. Local restaurant, Storia Cucina, is partnering with Unity Care NW for this unique opportunity. Choose a pasta kit, pizza kit, with an option to add a beverage. Click here for more information and to get tickets!
Thank you to the event sponsors: Community Health Plan of Washington, Chuckanut Health Foundation, and PeaceHealth.
